Edit: written 12:15AM-2:00AM, edited 10:00-11:00AM, posted 3:00PM.
I just got out of the movies with my friend from the house I
lived in last summer, and even though it's currently 12:15 AM, and I
should probably be asleep, I'm not ... because I'm here writing about
how fantastically fantastic the movie was. We saw the new Joseph
Gordon-Levitt (JGL, for future reference) movie "Don Jon". Now, my
ex-roommate and I, we love us some JGL. We've seen all his recent movies
together (except for Lincoln), we constantly are sending random
articles or videos about him to each other, and we can carry a good
thirty minute conversation (or longer) about how cool of a guy he seems
and how we'd legitimately want to hang out with the dude (no seriously,
ask our male ex-housemates. They were not having it last summer.
Hahah!). So, basically, this movie was right up our alley.
And
then he surprised us all by creating a movie that was not only
well-packaged and creative, but was also a thoughtful and most definitely
self-aware commentary on society, which is always the best movie to watch.
I've
been keeping an eye on the social media circuit for this film for
probably about a year now. JGL likes to promote stuff through his twitter
and through hitRECord, as well as the traditional trailer released in
theaters and on TV, so I've known what's been out and about for this
movie for quite sometime. I've also broken my sort-of rule of choosing not to know anything about films before viewing them in an effort to somewhat keep the element of surprise available to me because I'm pretty good at guessing where the plot of a movie is going to go based on initial trailers.
Instead, I read many an article about the film, watched interviews where JGL spoke about what the film is supposed to be a commentary on, and looked up as many reviews as possible before seeing the movie. Pretty much everything I normally don't do, but everything I found just encouraged me to see the film. Basically, if you don't know the general premise, "Don
Jon" is about a porn-addicted New Jerseyian who meets the girl of his
dreams, who happens to love, love, love romantic movies ... and
then has to navigate the waters of a real relationship when all he is
used to are one night stands and the overly-sexualized girls that he is
used to "taking advantage of" via internet porn. Whether he is
successful or not ... you'll just have to watch the movie (or, I guess,
read past the part where I say SPOILERS! because part of this little
blurb might give away the ending. Sorta.)
Now,
as a self-proclaimed feminist, I'm most definitely usually the one
rooting for the bull-headed new beauty to be able to transform JGL's Jon, convince him to ditch the porn, be with his new girl forever
and ever, and have a great character arc where he becomes the perfect
boyfriend and dotes on his new love's every need. Well, I mean she's a
strong, independent woman ... so he's totally going to see it her way. Girl
power, baby! Um ... Sorry to burst any bubbles, but that is definitely
not where this film goes (is anyone surprised?).
No,
instead, the film is an unabashed commentary on the unrealistic things
that the movie industry (porn or otherwise) likes to feed to its
consumers. I'm not going to get into the psychology of it; there are
people who do it way better than me here. (but really, check out the article, it's really interesting).
It's
a film that creates room for disagreement, debate, and discussion
because it shows both sides of the argument. Girls get pissed that their
boyfriends watch porn; boys get pissed their girlfriends expect them to
act like Prince Charming characters in the movies. Because the film is
unafraid of the subject (and, oh what a touchy subject it is), it comes
out as entertaining, funny, and most definitely intelligent, which I'm
going to guess probably isn't the norm for films with or about porn.
HALF-SPOILERS!
from here on out, though I will be vague, and I won't be giving away
the very end of the movie. Will say SPOILERS! again if anything gets
really spoiler-y.
JGL's
character, when we first meet him, is a stereotypical club macho-man
(you ladies know what I'm talking about). He is a guy so far set in his
ways that it looks impossible for him to find a way to change for a
girl. He likes his one night stands, pornos, and, honestly ... not much
else. When he meets Barbara (played by the lovely Scarlett Johannson),
we watch as he makes superficial changes to his life for her. He does
what she asks him to, which includes the stereotypical "meet the
friends", the not-so-stereotypical "meet the family", starts going to
classes, etc. In the little things, it seems like she is asking him to
make changes for the better, which he does gladly, but only because of
one glaring caveat: during their initial encounter, she refused to go
home with him, and while they're dating, she refuses to have sex with
him before he does the aforementioned things.
Now,
hold the phone! She's just trying to help him be better in life ...
surely, there can't be anything wrong with that. Well that's the thing,
there isn't anything wrong with wanting to encourage your
significant other, but throughout the beginning part of the movie, she
is literally dangling her sexuality over his head to make him change into what
she wants. From that sentence alone, it is obvious she has committed two
GIANT relationship faux pas.
Firstly, her demands force Jon to change ... In essence, she is saying he is not good enough. He has
to be better. On the other hand, she won't budge an inch to be what he
wants her to be (even if, disgustingly enough, it is essentially a sex toy with
real breasts and a pulse), and expects him to do all the work to make
the relationship last (not just in the sexual sense). In terms of his lifestyle, while he definitely
isn't making millions, he seems generally content, if not happy with his
current living situation. He's got a job, his own place, and expendable
cash ... If that's how he chooses to live his life, then she has no
right to be demanding that he "do something more". Her expectations,
clearly brought on by a steady diet of romantic movies, have created a
scenario where no normal guy will ever be good enough, romantic enough,
or perfect enough for her.
Secondly,
by holding her sexuality hostage to instigate change, she thinks she is
doing the right thing because she is the impetus for Jon's
self-betterment, but in actuality, she has just encouraged his
dysfunctional view of women as sex objects. She eventually does the deed
with Jon, after he fulfills all of her requirements, thus reinforcing
his worldview that her vagina is a prize to be won ... In essence, she
has debased herself, pretty much to the level of the girls that Jon
watches on the internet. Her sexuality has become an object of Jon's
self-gratification for doing something right ... he still doesn't see
her as a person, but as a thing to be owned (in fact, Jon actually
refers to Barbara as "the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" many, many times in the movie. It rankled me quite a bit, and I'm sure it's there for good reason: to point out his objectifying ways).
But
it's a two-way street. A girl who only acts like a sex object will
continue to be viewed as such by boys who don't know any better. The
film firmly grasps the idea that, yes, porn is a problem, but so is the
fact that girls are letting themselves be used in a similar fashion as
sex objects anyways! Yes, boys should be taught not the view girls like
that, but it's up to the culture to also teach girls that is even
less okay to act in a pornographic fashion, view themselves that way,
and let boys do think of them solely in that way.
Food for thought yeah?
It
also struck me as interesting, though I guess it shouldn't be
surprising (since this movie is most definitely from a guy's point of
view), that Jon has the extensive character arc. When you compare Jon to
JGL's last romantic-type movie, "(500) Days of Summer", JGL's
Tom has very little character development. He kind of has, like, an
inverted bell curve of romantic development. He pretty much ends where he
starts off after a lot of breaky heart achy stuff, while Zooey Deschanel's
Summer does the majority of changing throughout the film, and because of our point-of-view being Tom's, we don't see her development other than just being one pivotal moment where her world view of romance dramatically changes.
But
in "Don Jon", it's truly a slow creeping change, like what would happen
realistically. As an audience member, at the end, I just thought to
myself: "Wow, yeah, he's changed so much, but I can't really say exactly
when or how it started." I mean, if you watch the movie, you might say
otherwise, you might that there is one specific moment (I can think of it), but instead of pushing the idea that it was that specific moment that initiated Jon's change, we, as audience members, have been slowly introduced to other facets of Jon's life that are causing him unease. While there sort of is a "I'm going to change" scene, there is also ample foundation to make the change that he goes through believable. Therefore, the "moment" isn't definitive,
like there usually is in romantic movies (i.e. Justin Long in "He's Just
Not That Into You" having the aha! moment about, ironically, actually figuring out that he is
"into" Ginnifer Goodwin). Instead, it was a build-up of things, the way
it is in real life, that contributed to Jon's change of character by the
end of the film.
I
also really enjoyed the fact that
"Don Jon" addresses the double-edged sword of continuously viewing porn:
while Jon doesn't outright admit that his viewing of pornographic
videos has created a mindset that it is okay to objectify women, his
actions speak as loudly as his words ever would. He and his friends only
talk about women on the classic 1-10 scale and usually never even
bother to learn their names. And, as I've pointed out before, women are classified as
beautiful "things" to them, not people. Secondly, Jon eventually admits
that even being with a real life "dime" (a Ten) doesn't give him the
satisfaction that watching porn does. While he does actually say this out loud at one point in the movie, it is also evident in the fact that after the first time he and Barbara (his Ten) have intercourse, he still is unsatisfied and has to watch porn before he feel satisfied.
These two things
are the main issues that anti-pornography people bring up whenever the
get on their high horses to fight porn. And the movie doesn't shy away
from the fact that it has been documented that these are byproducts of
watching porn repeatedly; instead, it offers up the possibility that
self-awareness can lead to breaking the addiction and finally being part
of a healthy two-way relationship.
(OH! REAL SPOILERS AHEAD!)
But
I think the best part of the film was Barbara's story. As I mentioned
before, she doesn't have a character arc ... like, at all. During their
relationship, she starts making comments about this and that, wanting
Jon to change so that he will be the perfect man she envisions.
Surprise! He doesn't take it well, and is quickly disillusioned with
their relationship. When they break up, Jon isn't happy, but (sort of)
moves on. But by the end of the film, when Jon has been introduced to a
new worldview that doesn't involve pornographic sexuality, he calls to
see her for coffee, they meet, she kind of yells at him, and she most
definitely walks away thinking that she has "won" the break up.
She
is still demanding, she still expects him to change far too much for
her without doing the same for him, and she still thinks he isn't good
enough for her.
Now, I'm painting this girl to be a bitch, but that's just it: she's not.
The best part about the film is that, even as a guy's point-of-view
movie, JGL created a female character that is relatable, understandable, and
actually not crazy, unlike most film ex-girlfriends. People usually walk away from movies hating the "ex" characters because they have shown themselves to be unworthy of romantic relationships and usually are portrayed as generally bad people. But her concerns
about the relationship were legitimate and it was obvious that she was
invested in the relationship ... just not in the way that Jon was. She
doesn't end up being a better person, but even that is still realistic
in its portrayal. She just hasn't encountered something as pivotal as Jon's meeting Esther to shift her worldview in a significant way that will make her think about the movies she watches and why real life love doesn't equate to its onscreen portrayal. But sometimes that's just how it happens ... both sides
had extremely varied views on what the relationship should have been,
but just because they broke up doesn't mean that either of them is
wrong. It just meant that they weren't right together. Ah, yes, sweet reality.
(ALL RIGHT, ALL THE SPOILERS ARE DONE.)
I think this movie has created an authentic view of relationships
and relationship-type things today. It's a film that reminds us that
sometimes we need to take a step back and think about whether what we
are doing is truthful to the ones we care most about; it's a reminder to
be open, and, surprisingly enough, it is a movie about true love in the end. It's
nowhere near traditional true love ... some people might not even consider it true love at all, but it is a film about love in the truest sense of the word and in an applicable real world setting. In the end, it reinforces the idea that true
love is transformative love, not in the shallow sense where you're
just doing things to make your significant other happy, but in the
mature sense of being present, trusting, supportive, and most of all
vulnerable.
So, all in all, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has created a truly hilarious and poignant film about navigating the roads of love and relationships, platonic, romantic, and even familial! He has created characters that are true to life and situations that are definitely authentic. There is no grand declaration of love at the end, the characters do not necessarily get the happy ending that they thought they wanted, but they all end up where they should be, and the film is fulfilling nonetheless in its honesty, vulnerability, and in the message it chooses to portray.
--Tiffany
P.S. Just a warning to anyone who wants to watch this movie after this fantastic review of it, it is an R-rated film ... there are semi-explicit images throughout and carefully shot supposed-to-be-porn-on-the-internet clips. You have been warned.
